the life of an uncommon man

night cruise

2006-11-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

at the merlion at one am

www.e-c-3-s.blogspot.com

2006-11-20T02:00:00.001+08:00

The East Coast Choppers Cruisers Singapore blog is up! Check it out at www.e-c-3-s.blogspot.com

Note: It's still a work in progress, will be adding on stuff n members hopefully :)

Cheers

EC3S begins

2006-10-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

Mike n I decided to give a name for this lil chopper thing that we two are doing. East Coast Choppers Cruisers Singapore. EC3S, pronounced as "ex-ces" for admittedly zhging our bikes is what it's about. Check out www.ec3s.blogspot.com. Nothing much is in there, it's still pretty new.

Hope more ppl can be brought into it in time to come. Will be great to see a convoy cruising down East Coast Park. These days it's either Saiful & his black carbon forked chopper n I, or Mike & his red hot chili chopper n I.

Here's my Stingray in her almost-final reincarnation. I just need to get a new 26" wheel (this one is from my cruiser) n then i'm basically done. Then my ape-hanger chopper is complete.

Will be modding my Calypso into a lowrider cruiser, changing the stock wheels to smaller ones, removing the derailleur n brakes n adding in a coaster brake. Pimp it up abit.

Just ordered in a chopper frame from the folks at 3gbikes (www.3gbikes.com). It's the party time model in matt black. Will do that chopper up in the low-slung mean black look.

Also gonna get a Scott Reflex full-suspension XC bike for exercise n exploring the trails at Tampines & Bukit Timah.

Meantime, gotta do up my room garage to make space for 4 bikes! Hehe.. Found out a keyboard stand makes a pretty good bike repair stand.

No social life, but glad as heck that my girl is okay with this hobby of mine. That's it for now. Cheers!

introducin calypso

2006-07-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

Introducin my newest acquisition, the trek 2006 calypso cruiser.

in a shade of british racing green, goes like a dream, light as a feather, gleaming aluminium and soft leather!

needless to say, i'm nuts.

cruisin on me stingray

2006-07-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

Abit too flashy, but a bloody joy to ride. Corners like a bus, goes uphill like a log but accelerates downhill like a fallin meteor. Plus a very butt-friendly seat and relaxed laidback cruising.

Me n me Schwinn Stingray Street Series :D

choppers :D

2006-07-30T22:07:00.000+08:00

Saiful n I on our choppers. Also known as A.A. bikes (Attract Attention), or even Ali bin Davidson bikes.

Industrial & Bling :P

porcelain lady

2006-05-31T11:53:00.000+08:00

times like this make me wonder why
god knows it's never perfect
but at least we bloody try

and baby
i love the way you hold me
and the way your body glows
in the moonlight

you make me wanna live
you make me wanna give
all my life all my soul
all the things i have dear to hold
to you

though i know
that you got some reservations
but hey let go take my hand
we will flow we will fly
off this land onto the moon

just you and me and you.

susan's tree @ singapore food fest '06

2006-05-30T21:36:00.000+08:00

susan's tree at telok blangah

2006-04-26T19:51:00.000+08:00

weddin pics

2006-02-22T11:35:00.000+08:00

old school sort of wedding this was, with ard 6 groomsmen and bridesmaids each. there were songs, prayers, the lighting of tiers of candles and the unity candle, the throwin of the banquet and garter. a buffet lunch followed the solemnisation, where guests promptly attacked the food in droves, despite calls from the emcee for restraint. interestin stuff.

have a great marriage gerden!

hatyai sights

2006-02-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

this is taken at hatyai, where i went to attend a pinay friend's wedding solemnisation cum dinner.

the day was bright n sunny, yet breezy, sending bells hung on the facade a-tinklin. it was peaceful there.

this temple stood quite a distance from the hotel, past the hustle and bustle, of tangled electricity wires, streetside vendors selling roasted chestnuts, lil buddha pendants, bunches of grapes and pears, stalks intact, artfully arranged with a leaf or two placed on top, past traffic junctions where tuk-tuks and small bikes weaved thru without a care in the world, much less the traffic light, thru a rather more sedate residential area, with houses of meranti and nato perched on stilts where the adults lazed outside with cold drinks and card, and a mother gave her happily-splashin baby a bath in a lil plastic tub, past the bridge where a coupla food stalls, shoe shops, and such huddled in the dust beneath, past the rail lines where rusted unused carriages still sat on old rusted lines while newer gleamin carriages rolled past them on, well newer gleaming lines. to the right after that down a coupla hundred steps and there lies the temple compound, its gates open, with sounds of children playin comin from within.

i like travellin. worth the 14hr bus ride, worth the sweat and the aching feet. sights one would never see unless one stepped out of his comfort zone past the 'centre' of one's universe. and there is more to see :)

bloodburn

2006-02-14T03:50:00.000+08:00

i cannot sleep.

my cheek is slightly bruised, n my thigh muscle near the knee is swollen.

yet i cannot help but relive the moments.

a roar fills my ears and my heart throbs crazily when i imagine if i had done what i almost did.

i was attacked by two mats. perhaps drunk. one hits like a girl, the other kicks like one too. and ooh i had my guitar with me and i couldave smashed their faces in. and continue poundin on them until their blood soaked the concrete and all i heard from their smashed lips were not cocky words, but whimpers.

my blood rushes to my head when this happens. i did not feel their punches, or their kicks, just that insane urge to break them. i go berserk. no matter how short i am, no matter how short my reach is, meaning i have to take hits in order to hit, i would have gladly let go all restraint and thrown the dice.

even now i relive the moments, and curse myself for not dodgin that first punch, for not strikin first. i had a guitar in my hand, and a pretty big penknife in my pocket. i wouldave broken their fingers so they can't fight, broken their jaws so that they can't talk shit, n perhaps their pelvis as well. or cut them and flick the blood off my blade at their faces and laugh.

but i didn't. i kept my hands to myself, my knife in my pocket, and let ant lead me away from them, with them hurlin abuses at my back.

two reasons why. i gotta write this down so that my inner reptile can't deny the choice i made. firstly, the bond i have with my school. i wouldnt care less bout the school actually, it's just that should i have struck back n more, i am in the wrong. i may or may not be prosecuted, but probably would have been expelled from the institute. leavin a $70k bond for my family to deal with.

second reason, i'm still strivin to earn the love of a woman i see my future with. to prove i have got the maturity to overcome the obstacles between us. if i had retaliated, i wouldave lost her.

in the end, at crunch time, things like school or appointments or gigs or even friendship doesnt figure in the picture. it is for my family, present and future, that i would gladly bleed for.

and god tell me what the police are for?

they came late, didnt take down my descriptions of them, didnt try to catch up with the bus the two mats took, didnt appear remotely hurried.

but they advised.

that if i see em again, give them a call, they will come down and TAKE THEIR PARTICULARS and then i have the option of pursuing a civil suit. they referred to me as the complainant, not the victim.

the thing that pisses me off is that i was attacked, i did not fight back, and the cops don't seem all that bothered.

protection my bloody foot.

will head down to the police station later today to press them to do more.

in the meantime, i am still so bloody angry at myself that they got away.

i-should-have's will be on my mind all day today. n i need to calm myself down, i got a gig later for a friend's wedding. i need to calm down.

i need to calm down.

a new love :)

2006-01-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

yea i got another guitar. X-P

she's a maccaferri-style gypsy jazz guitar by gitane. body of spruce and rosewood, she's bloody resonant, yet responds with subtle nuances when i'm gentle. the grain runs smooth, the gloss shines deep, the trapeze piece shimmers in the sunlight. and yeah, it's got an embossed "s" on it as well.

thinkin of a name for her now. of course 'esmeralda' came to mind but sheesh, that makes me her quasimodo.

thanks to hozen of maestro guitars, for bringin in such a rare guitar. and to ant, who helped me pick her out of the guitars he unpacked, tuned up and adjusted for me to try.

time to write n record :D

not just another day

2006-01-11T01:57:00.000+08:00

as usual, i woke up to the rain and the general gloom it brings. by lunchtime i couldn't stand it and decided to get out of the house n do something. alas though, friends weren't free so i decided to bring my new electric guitar to the shop to have a guitar tech friend have a look at it.

maestro's a lil shop down at city hall, in the basement level of excelsior hotel. the whole level is sorta becomin a lil guitar village of sorts, with guitar connection, living strings, guitar77, luthermusic, musictheme and davis guitar all within a coupla feet from each other. the shop sells acoustic and classical guitars of their own brand (maestro) which they designed themselves (spruce top, maple sides jumbo anyone?) as well as other brands like blueridge, alhambra, and so on. spent some time there in delight with a spanish flamenco guitar in my hands, playin riffs from the mariachi movies. i can't afford it, yet..

after havin a look at my guitar, my tech friend gave his assessment: swamp ash body, korean-made wilkinson tremolo, gotoh lockin tuners and 3 blade pickups. these pickups were rather interesting in that they're not single pickups but rather humbuckers(dual singles) shrunk to the size of singles. and since size determines how much windings can be done, the pickups sound neither like singles nor humbuckers. they're good value (considerin i got the guitar at around $300), but hey, seymour duncan duckbuckers look like a worthwhile upgrade :) n throw in some ghost piezo saddles so i can get my electric to sound like an acoustic with the flick of a switch.

aih.. no money for that.. being a discernin musician hurts sometimes.

anyway just when it seemed that i was gonna bum til about ten before headin to roomful of blues to drown me sorrows, my tech friend revealed he was gonna jam with his band that evenin. so i decided to pop by n watch n learn. as it turns out, the bassist was unable to make it, so i covered him n acquited myself decently (hopefully). the others were very friendly, and pretty talented.

but it was fun though, playin in a band, followin the beat of the drummer, introducin your own bass groove to the mix, n generally losin yourself to the music. and for a while, it was an escape that i searched the last coupla days for in coronas (at roomful) and sampoernas and in the swimmin pool of nie, but was unable to find.

doubt i'll play for them again, i ain't that good. btw the band, called seven til dawn will be playin at smu's grand openin. check 'em out, they're pretty darn good.

anyways after the jam, we said our goodbyes n headed off in different directions. myself n my tech friend, we headed to tampines block 201 for a good supper of fresh cockles, nasi goreng mata lembu and prata. n we talked about music, about old friends and old happenings, of rotaract and of relationships.

sittin here recallin the day that has just gone by, i re-realised that things can start pretty darn sucky. but it doesn't always end up sucky, especially if one doesn't try to force things to get better.

not a bad day today. not a bad day at all :)

lyrically whimsical

2006-01-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

It's the perfect time of year

Somewhere far away from here

I feel fine enough, I guess

Considering everything's a mess.

I could hide out under there

I just made you say 'underwear'

I could leave but I'll just stay

All my stuff's here anyway.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya

Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya

Try to see the world beyond your front door.

Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya

Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to

Try to figure out what all this is for.

i used to listen to this song years ago. it's by the barenaked ladies. lyrics are the heart of a song to me, the substance (hence my dislike for boybandish crap). and this song really meant alot to me during those times.

i came up with a ditty awhile ago. most folks who heard it think it's crazy, mainly cos of the first line. hehe guess i got influenced by the song above, where feelings of sadness are hidden behind whimsical words.

my ditty goes:

if you had different kinds of underwear

how would i know if you did care

when you keep breakin my heart in two

ain't got no sense in me loving you

*shrugs. maybe one day i'll write a happy song. and maybe one day i'll grow ten centimetres in height too.

esplanade blues

2006-01-04T08:25:00.000+08:00

acoupla things i learnt yesterday. number one, king kong is a 3 hour movie with absolutely no plot whatsoever, predictable from beginning til end. n mr jackson, quit your zoomin-in close-ups of things grisly and gruesome. miss watts, please fix ur teeth. sometimes too much blue-screen (read computer effects) tends to have a desensitisin effect. n why the fuck did the director think of singapore as a filmin destination? do we have white sandy beaches with clear waters? no. do we have majestic mountains and acres of ancient forests? uh uh.

just watched the movie last nite, with kris, her bro and maryann. movie was at 9:45 so it rather lasted til 1am. n then i learnt another thing: night-rider services are available only on fridays, weekends, eve of public holidays yea, i know. but the night owl services, something i used to depend on, have also been rescheduled to mimic the night rider services. crap. no buses, no trains, n not enough money in my pocket to catch a cab and not enough desperation in my heart to ask my friends to lend me some cash.

so since i figured i was bench-bunkin that nite, i decided to find a bench with a view. n took a nice stroll down to esplanade from cineleisure. strolls are good when ur depressed. your heart hurts so much that you don't feel the ache in your feet. sat on the steps overlookin marina bay, the skyline looked pretty damn good. and in that moment i was lonely.

things aren't workin out between aphrodite and i. the brief swirl of hearts meeting and entwining in passion and in love has ended, and i am heartbroken. the realisation that i could be much worser off than stranded outside and not being able to call to her for help was particularly agonising. i only hope that her current guy will treat her as the treasure she is.

the hardest part about being in love is learning how to let go. and that's what i learnt that night. if it isn't workin, no matter how much i try, how much i strive; if the things i do in good faith instead pull her down and muddies the waters around her, then lettin her go so she can live out her dreams is simply the right thing to do. it's certainly the most painful though.

that night i managed to take a nap of acoupla hours on the stone benches that encircle the outdoor stage, together with two other homeless people. i would not presume to know what they were feeling, but i think that for that coupla hours, i shared with them the pain of being unwanted.

btw, my thanks to maryann and shelly for their company over the phone and their offers of help. thanks guys, appreciate it lots, apologies for takin up ur sleep times.

despicable dudes

2006-01-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

maybe i'm a feminist. maybe it's my past where my mum was mind-fucked by my dad's bullshit. or maybe it's cos i have friends whose boyfriends are complete fuckin arseholes, and cowards to boot.

but never have i heard of a boyfriend threatenin suicide if his girl decides to leave him, to leave a relationship that has no future. that's even worse, in my book, than a guy who threatens to leave a girl who doesn't want to let him into her pants. naturally in the former, what else can the girl do but to stay with him, locked and helpless, to an emotional guy who may one day get physical (n god help him if he does)?

girls are treasures. if a girl decides to stay with one, it should be out of her own free will. and if she does, treasure her so. n remember she is a person, with her own heart, her own life, her own hopes and dreams.

so to ppl who mind-fuck their girlfriends so, take a good look in the mirror and see what pathetic souls you have become, to bully the ones you so apparently love. and grow the fuck up.

if any is unclear or disagrees with my view, feel free to inform me. i'll gladly explain it to you. in person and in detail.

happy new year.

there and back again

2005-12-30T01:28:00.000+08:00

usually in travelling, the sights tend to amaze, but it is the ppl that entrance. meeting my cousins was a pleasure in itself, spendin time with them a treasure priceless. my thanks go out to em, for makin each philippine trip enjoyable, comfortable and memorable. til next christmas! jane, hope to see u in singapore soon one day! n bring rose & nhica along as well!

wierdly enough, i don't feel like bloggin about em much. guess all the times we opened up to each other, shared fears and hopes, dreams and well gossip, are too personal to be put up for everyone to see.

cheers all & happy new year!

2005-12-30T01:26:00.000+08:00

kooky cousins: jane the artist, myra the soon-to-be ex-teacher, and a bemused lening.

2005-12-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

my greek cousin lening at the beach. it had been ten years since she came to philippines. many things had changed for her, some not at all :)

2005-12-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

lening, brent, angelo, rose and marianne

2005-12-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

the original bad boy, uncle edwin. with a ciggie between his fingers and a bottle of gin on his lap. don't play around with filipino gin, the damn thing has an alcohol content of 80%. i got tipsy after 5 shots, but he just laughed and poured himself his 30th shot.

2005-12-30T01:17:00.001+08:00

mr. one-wrong-step-and-ur-dead francis. he was referrin to the jagged rocks that line the beach

2005-12-30T01:17:00.000+08:00

myra the singer and nhica the guitarist. was a pleasure stayin with them at lolo's.

2005-12-30T01:14:00.001+08:00

marianne and sheryl

2005-12-30T01:14:00.000+08:00

from left: meself, lening, myra and jane. at intramuros, among the old battlements.

2005-12-30T01:11:00.000+08:00

my niece geline. rather kooky nowadays cos she's teething, but still cute as hell.

2005-12-30T01:09:00.000+08:00

probably the prettiest girl in nasugbu, rose, uncle nori(her dad) and myself at puenta fuego

philippines sights

2005-12-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

so many sights i couldn't record by camera. either they passed by so fast, or the camera's batts were dead, or it just wasn't advisable to draw a digital camera from one's pocket at that point in time. philippines really is a land of contradiction. the slums, the poor, and the rich and the powerful. the clogged, dank smell of manila's filthy streets, the skyscrapers of makati. the rich pride that pinoys have of their heritage, culture and identity, and the desolate resignation of the poor, the orphans, the homeless.

2005-12-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

the memorial of world war two, located in the heart of intramuros, manila.

2005-12-30T00:54:00.000+08:00

me bargin in on a conversation between president roxas and mr. i-shall-return general mac'arthur.

2005-12-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

christmas dinner. nothing big this time around. sticks of marshmellows, pineapple and hotdogs, bbq chicken, macaroni with sour sauce, pasta, jelly. that's genrick at the back, wonderin where the sweets are hehe

2005-12-30T00:50:00.001+08:00

the view of nasugbu town from puenta fuego. the smoke's probably from farmland or burnin rubbish, i don't exactly know. good view anyway.

2005-12-30T00:50:00.000+08:00

puenta fuego. it's the highlands of nasugbu. rich filipinos live here, it's prime real estate. but a plot of land about 130 hectares here costs less than a category a car. i know what i'm savin for :P in the distance are the twin islands, where uncle edwin, my bro n myself jumped off a cliff 3 storeys high into the water once. needless to say, we were banned from visitin there again..

2005-12-30T00:44:00.000+08:00

here's the lighthouse at the tip of nasugbu pier. we took a boat from here to get to white sands beach.

2005-12-30T00:43:00.000+08:00

on the rocky shoreline off white sands beach at puenta fuego, nasugbu. no these starfish n snails aren't hangin out together. my cousin francis put em all on a rock for a nice photo.

2005-12-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

the view of manila bay at sunset. they got a baywalk there, with outdoor restaurants, bars, live music. there was even a restaurant that was staffed by midgets. quirky ppl they are :P

2005-12-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

this is part of the gardens of old manila, with some battlements to the right. here the maidens would sit among the flowers and bushes while the young men would serenade them with love songs. romantic aye?

2005-12-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

that's a kalesa, a horse-drawn carriage. just a nice touristy way to go around intramuros, or old manila. that is one feisty, heck-care-bout traffic horse.

2005-12-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

jose rizal's shrine. that's just the gateway. learnt that philippine's national hero was a doctor, a poet, a writer, a sculptor, a philosopher, and a casanova. no wonder he pissed off the spanish so bad that they executed him. on display is a segment of rizal's spine with a bullet still lodged within.

2005-12-30T00:35:00.000+08:00

the manila cathedral. pretty vast inside, there was a wedding ceremony going on inside.

2005-12-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

makati by morning. the clean, safe and modern part of manila.

different points of view

2005-12-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

as much as i want to rant, protest, insult, annihilate, destroy, curse, plunder, stomp, disembowel, i can't.

as much as i want to rejoice, exult, cheer, encourage, jig, i can't.

one day, it will all get too much for me to bear. i will burst, i will cave, i will shatter spectacularly.

the greatest wager is that life will get better. hopefully before the above-mentioned day. should i succeed, i will be content, i will be at peace, i will be tellin my kids one day," life was alot more difficult in my time."

should nature prove to be against me however, well, no use in ponderin unpleasant possibilities that may not happen.

carmen awakes, stretches her lithe body and settles lazily back, snugglin against the cushion. no worries cloud her dreams, no tensions dampen her days. emulating her is an exercise in futility, envyin her is a little guilty pleasure. and i am no further from consolin myself than when i just started this thread of thought.

whining aside, i will persevere. i will throw all my effort into my struggle ahead. i will endeavour to fuckin get back onto my feet. i will get what i want, or rather, what i believe i reasonably bloody well deserve.

u read that sufian? this is what u wrote then, remember? now quit feelin sorry for urself n get back to work!

me tryin to dissect me moods

2005-12-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

the gesl project is over. finally. it happened on the 28th and 29th of november, at clementi primary school for the touch thinkers club. we had a day camp, for underprivileged children.

never really spoken much about this, mainly because all the processes leadin up to this camp were mightily disappointin to me. and depressive. perhaps it's cos i expected more than what the others decided. and the realisation that as a leader, i don't have neither the strength or patience to be a good one.

at least i managed to set up the structure before i resigned.

during the camp itself, i thrust all these issues aside and embraced myself the task of conducting the music workshops and interacting with the kids. naturally the first workshop was a failure, but a good learnin experience. laptops may be very convenient, but they should never be used in a primary school classroom. and oh rules, how important it is to establish them at the beginning, and enforce them. i also learned how important it was to watch one's words, for kids seem to be unnaturally sharp about catchin and rememberin what i said.

at first my lesson plan covered a long range of concepts. from beats to rhythms to duple meter to triple meter, to melodic/harmonic/rhythm instruments, musical forms and all that. but it was impossible, owin to the circumstances that the workshop was only 45 mins long and there was only one workshop. rather than crammin them with concepts that i was sure they would forget, i concentrated instead on the basics of beat, rhythm and melody. i also separated them into two groups where they could come up with their own musical piece, using some instruments like tin drums, can shakers, mini tambourines, harmonicas, recorders, sleigh bells, castanets and empty bottles.

that turned out to be noisy. yet some kids displayed some talent. more so, they enjoyed it so much it always took time to shoo them out after the lesson. and on the second day, several came up to me and asked if there were more music lessons. they also wanted to bring home some instruments, which was heartening.

during lunch, the kids would pull me to sit with them, where we would exchange stories, jokes, even food. pokemon gossip even hehe..

in the end, it was the display of child innocence, enthusiasm, friendliness and sincerity that i remember about the camp. which brings on some regret in that there was definitely more that we could have done for them.

but will i sign on as a volunteer for touch services?

no. i am obligated to rotaract.

will i organise another camp for those kids?

no. there are others that need more help.

i've worked with orphans in cambodia, village children in thailand, and now disadvantaged children in singapore. each project has left me with the guilt that i am unable to do more. and devote my life to helpin them.

doubt, irritation, depression, surprise, fear, stress, elation, happiness, sorrow, guilt. all in two days.

musician + zodiac sign cancer = one bloody emotional dude.

midnight musings

2005-11-23T00:29:00.000+08:00

back here in tampines.. eatin mum's food again, drinkin water and yakults, snackin on old hari raya cookies and watchin channel 5 on tv. remembered how crappy singaporean shows can be. for example, the newest gotcha is one crass show. if one gag involves a psycho loanshark terrorisin a poor part-timer n another gag features a boss slappin his rude waitress, one gets the feeling that next they'll have buses knockin down road-sweepers n kids stompin on snails..

met a recent ex online recently.. the one i wrote about in the early pages of this blog. she's doing all fine w her russian guy (the one i got dumped for). conversation went something like this:

me: so hows u n ur russian guy?
l: oh we're doing great
l: actually we're engaged now.. how about you?
me: orh i'm doing just fine.. congrats by the way
l: thanks..

(switch off laptop)

of course i've realised i'm better off without her. of course i know i'm doing okay now. of course i should be happy that she's happy.

still pisses me off though. kleenexy feelin. later felt like tellin her that i managed to get thru moe's interview despite her, and even gettin into the music cohort by playin the music teachers a song i wrote about gettin over her. but hell, not worth my effort.

headed back to philippines in december, gotta start collating a christmas gift list. doesnt help i got loads of cousins, n more i don't even know i'm related to. as of now, it goes mengiel, myra, nhica, relyn, genrick, geline, germaine, brenda, jane, brent, sheryl, rose(mp3player), francis, marianne, uncle edwin n family, uncle boy n aunt malou, aunt vanjie, uncle nori n aunt beth, uncle tani n family, etc etc..

cripes..

well at least that's something worth spendin my year end bonus on..

last saturday racrc went to darul takrim home for the aged to put up a lil hari raya concert of sorts. naturally mike n i were the guitarists as usual, n we played the usual songlist of burung kakak tua, chan mali chan, singapura, ditanjung katong, geylang sipaku geylang n so on, while rtn ron led the others in song. this year though, i was surprised when, in midst of a song, some of the ladies stepped up onstage n started to joget to the music. they exuded un-selfconscious grace despite their curved backs, and their eyes twinkled, lips curved up in a grin amidst their lined faces.

just one of those unfortunately rare times that makes my step lighter, and my back straighter.

hello, i'm havin a goooooood day. farts

2005-11-05T11:06:00.000+08:00

strange how i can't post up certain things cos there are certain ppl watchin~~~

fucked up my essay. hope they don't realise that my word count is the biggest bullshit i've dropped throughout the whole essay. if they do, heh.. i'm buggered..

i also apparently have the talent to piss off my gesl tutor, a man many believe is friendlier than a rabbit smokin pot. yeah i know.. reflection was due last friday.. but jeez, who the heck writes a reflection for a module when it's only halfway through? i'll certainly wrack my brains thinkin of shit that could pop up during the event later this month, and imagine what conflicts would occur, what life-lessons i would learn later on. suf the psychic.

i do believe that earlier last century, some scribe drunk on mead accidentally superglued the stamp for the letter p with the stamp for the letter s and y while making copies of some fantastic epic written by some obnoxious head-in-his-arse poet. hence words like 'psychic', 'psychotic', 'psychological' n so on.

wait nah perhaps it was a doctor high on his own anaesthesia..

thus explains my half-fucked days. aphrodite's the only one keepin me sane durin this times. else i feel better than a bee-keeper who's realised that there's a hole in his suit, and it's between his legs.

slamat hari raya folks! god i love pineapple tarts...

aphrodite

2005-10-14T17:01:00.000+08:00

despite a twisted ankle and an old injury wrist injury that acted up. she did it. she came along, changed into her t-shirt n berms, pulled on the harness and rock-climbin shoes, strapped the chalkbag behind her, clicked in the rope n tried it out for the first time in her life. and she reached the top!

after the beginner wall, she then attempted the intermediate walls. she kept at it on and on until her ankle gave out on her. and then she tried her hand at belaying, which she managed to belay me successfully until her wrist gave out.

still without a complaint from her lips, but a slight limp and a really sore wrist, we trudged out of the place at about 930pm. evon headed off home and saiful, herself n i got a taxi n headed to the coffee club at hotel rendezvous for a muddy mud pie before headin down to roomful for beer, margaritas n more substantial food.

there, she gamely came up on the stage to sing with my guitar. despite her fear and insecurity, she got over her stagefright and we nailed the chorus. we didnt manage to finish the song, she forgot the words n i forgot the chords hehe. but next time, we'll knock the audience's socks off!

and after that saiful went home, and we headed back for a night of wine, a nice movie and the pleasure of each other's company.

this is how feeling honoured, feeling special, feeling loved, feels like. i havent felt like this in a heckuva long time.

i am content.

excuse me? i am !sufian :D

2005-10-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

remember the times when nothing one did was considered silly, where silliness was just part of one's natural being?

to me, work is something that i just gotta do n get over with so that i can be silly again.

i like those low-rider chopper bikes. the ones that look like a extremely budget flintstone-powered motorbike. the riding position is relaxed, my bum is pampered, and the bloody thing accelerates like a bat out of hell down the slopes, though it's a bitch to pedal it upslope beforehand.

never do i really care that it makes me look silly :)

one life, live it to the fullest. no use avoidin things u would love to do just cos ppl think it's silly. some muslim friends tell me that it's the next life that matters. fair enough, alas my beliefs aren't the same. cos i dont wanna be one to knock on the gates of heaven (as if) when my time comes, ask for entry to the next life, only for the guardian to cock his head n remark,"you fell for that too, eh?"

it's sad that few people here laugh at themselves. we take ourselves too bloody seriously. thinkin of portrayin images of ourself that we would like to be, but who arent really naturally ourselves.

i knew a dude who dressed gothlike. no matter the weather, that dude would be wearin a black denim jacket, black shirt with the appropriate band name on the front, jeans and boots. his wrists would be covered by bracelets of all sorts, his fingers with silver rings, and a heavy chain around his neck. he was a walkin 77th street mannequin.

then one day i suggested he get a tattoo. he avoided a reply. a coupla minutes later i asked him why he didnt have a piercing, at least on the earlobes. and he let it slip. "nah it looks like it hurts."

excuse me say that again?

some folks are the see, gawk, whisper, point, snigger types too, yet are the ones that dont say anything to you. some that are only willing to offer their opinion under the shield of anonymity. and some that are purely misguided, cos knowin the truth aint impt to them, especially when the truth aint as sensational.

put your trust in a person's nature
not his schemes
live life for the moment
don't shy away from scary things
and when shiiiit does happen
lift your head and smile
cos you know moments will come
moments worthwhile

like a blazin sunset
in a shimmerin sky
the earth beneath your feet
the ppl passin by
the loves that you have had
the love you have yet to attain
so grit your teeth and give a grin and lift your head
and sing!

later evon, saiful and i are gonna go rockclimbin. and to my continual amazement, aphrodite's comin too, even though she really aint the sporty type.

when i think about it, she's doing something that's unnatural to her. and despite all the looks from passers-by, and also her own comments, she walked beside me while i rode that silly bike, although she wishes it be gone soon.

now that makes everything worthwhile :D

achingly exultant

2005-10-09T02:49:00.000+08:00

can't believe i did this. of all the insane stupid n unreasonable things i could have done. wat the heck possessed me to suggest cyclin to ntu to saiful?

ah it must be the beer.. goddamn coronas, them prices went up by a dollar. bloody mexicans.. but heh we only had a bottle each.

he n i were sittin at roomful, admiring the scenery (i do not mean interior design) and enjoyin gilbert's music, and patrick's usual bloody rendition of "wat a wonderful world." gilbert also played u2's "with or without you," and yea that got me thinkin about aphrodite. her phone was off, so i tot i'd say "hi!" in person. hence the amazin bicycle trip. which i should add may not have occured if saiful wasnt just as crazy to agree wholeheartedly to the attempt.

if u ever have the inclination to cycle to ntu from prinsep street, try the followin route. go along selegie road, turn left to bukit timah road. then whack all the way til king albert park where u turn left, n go along ngee ann poly all the way down to clementi central. n then follow the mrt line all the way to boon lay. from there, follow 199's bus route n tadaa! ur in ntu.. aching calves, numbded arse n crotch, dead arms.

before all this, i had arranged to meet up with saiful at bedok swimmin complex for a bit of night cyclin. bugger just bought himself a low-rider pimp-ass bike. looks bloody cool, goes bloody fast downhill but is a heck of a bugger to pedal uphill. the riding position also ensures that ones armpits are well-ventilated. i want one!

so we cycled to east coast, all the way to macs where we had a coupla ramly burgers. man.. his bike was attractin so many admiring looks (one girl's eyes were poppin out, i swear), my lil nexxus bike sulked all nite. n after them burgers, another suggestion popped up: let's cycle to orchard! but along the way we couldnt resist the call of the roomful.

zig zag, up down, left right, and here we are. and here i am. poofed..

to all the big innovative design companies i implore: create a bike saddle that molds and adjusts itself to ones bum. i mean if addidas can create a sneaker that changes shock absorption settings to different terrain, u guys can do that right?? for the sake of all cyclin mankind. no wonder birth rates are droppin.

sigh i miss her.

whimsical wonderings of a wierded winded urmm.. wmind..

2005-10-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

the point of all this is that in the end, things are supposed to be better.

if all went well, better for everybody. but seriously, if it doesnt go well, or as one wished it would, things cant be better for everybody. everybody cant be happy. well, completely happy in that sense.

so hey if i'm actin like a jerk, that's cause i'm bloodletting. i'm being an arse cos i'm sick of being nice.

a friend told me today that i looked like a dumper, when actually i'm a chronic dumpee. as i watched corpse bride earlier this evening, it made me long for simple uncomplicated love. where everybody's childish (perhaps) in the beginning but matured in the end. although the movie did brush the edges of necrophilia XP

i love emoticons. one's complexion is always so clear; no blackheads, bad hairdays, etc. i get the same high when i go to the barber's where naturally i have to remove my glasses to get my hair cut. for that ten minutes or so, i feel like i'm good-lookin, suave, n all that.

n then the spectacles come on again and the illusion shatters into a million strands of snipped off hair around my feet, under the collar of my shirt, and should my bermudas be loose, the crack of my arse.

a guy who is baldin when he is only 24 has issues. if he doesn't, he deserves them.

perhaps this verbal discharge is due to the can of red-bull i downed earlier. or maybe i'm just feelin whimsical. i guess i realised today that i can be wierd, whimsical, nonsensical, hornithetical, and cornisensical.

and true friends don't mind.

there is no point. there is no reason. there is no cause, there is no rationale. there is just...

..shit..

sheesh..

2005-10-04T00:35:00.000+08:00

it's amazin how gifts and favours are so readily accepted and forgotten, while debts are always remembered.

so i owe you a hundred bucks. do you remember the cab rides i paid for yuh, the bouquet of flowers, the gifts, the love and attention i gave yuh? how much was all that worth? perhaps u will say that i didnt have to give u all that, but you urself didnt have to lend me that cash.

n now cos ur runnin low, u pull that debt up. sheesh, even after hearin that i'm sellin off my guitar just to get by. i feel like kleenex again.

a new week, a blocked nose

2005-10-03T11:40:00.000+08:00

methinks that this week will go great..

am drippin like a tap, just ran out of panadol cs. wish i had a batch of those yellow pills that would knock me out and i would awake cured. but ah well..

the past weekend has been great. spending the hours and the nights with aphrodite in my arms. life isn't empty.

the kittens have grown up, rompin and scamperin around the neighbours' plants. really inquisitive creatures, they took my jean-cladded legs as moving scratchposts. while their mom looks on lazily, as if to say,"hey, better u than me."

mum's latest attempt at starting a business has failed again, and so there's merchandise as well as display cases in my room. she hasn't been havin much success at all, and the reason has usually been location, location, location. however, in singapore, location may just require the greatest amount of capital, something mum never really had much of.

so why do i still feel that this week will go great? cos i know that whatever happens tmr, i'll be there. with open arms and open eyes, yea ;)

time to grab a snooze

gnites..

2005-09-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

the longing lady

past events

2005-09-25T11:43:00.000+08:00

alrite, the concert's over.

everybody says it was a success, but i say it was mediocre. not in the sense of talents, the music was pretty okay, but alot of the planning was a let-down.

logistics was a mess. for cryin out loud, the ensemble conductor had to hop on n off the bloody stage. even though our conductor is an easy-going guy, he still ought to have been given a dignified mode of entrance n exit. if we were able to arrange new lap-stools for each of our guitars, we can at the least find a wooden step so he can step onto stage with some amount of dignity.

apologies to the emcees, but though they two were eye-candy, quite obviously they were unprepared, unrehearsed, hence unsuccessful. there's only so much that an emcee can bullshit an audience. considerin we only saw them on the day itself, no wonder. the one particular joke they cracked was truly cringe-worthy, because it was dirty. the vips sure got that joke.

more preparation ppl! n pls, more awareness about these sorta issues. the thing that scared me was not the lack of these basic issues, but rather the mindset that it was okay that they were lacking. and when u have a vip like alex abishegenadan (apologies if i've misspelled his name), protocol, setting and procedure is very important. and by the way, don't send him a card in a hand-addressed envelope days before the event.

luckily for us, the music was redeeming. seemed we all stepped up a gear and gave the performance of our lives. mononoke sounded appropriately melancholic, all the right timbres at the right places, and quien sera was just as appropriately upbeat. alas we couldnt have michael buble down to sing with us, but i bet he wouldnt mind if he was here. and the band, which a friend commented were the most cool-sounding, uncool-looking band she had ever seen, did pretty darn well too. alas some technical problems ruined the mood for some. jinfu's lame jokes made up for hehe.

as for social life, i'm back to my old flingin ways. yea i've taken on a lover, who in the most unexpected way, fulfills me in ways i had never experienced during my brief moments of relationships. and no, i'm not talkin about the physical aspects.

imagine if u will, a woman who holds you tight as you sleep, and kisses u when u awake. a woman who shows u how to cook your favourite foods, and makes no complaint that it is a hassle to travel down to shop for the groceries with you. a woman with whom one can discuss poetry, politics and philosophy, while also bitchin about drunk girls, the weather and other such mundanities. one who loves to take a nice stroll and admire the scenery, flora, fauna, yet pulls u close for a kiss every now and then. one who shares willingly your life, even willing to try out things she found completely beyond her interest before. a person filled with such tenderness, wit and compassion.

yea it's wierd. god knows it may not last for long. but for now, it'll certainly do :)

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

2005-09-16T13:05:00.000+08:00

well the past coupla days have been bloody exerting.

finally the rose-coloured glasses slipped off my nose and i became aware of the boulder that was tugging away at my feet.

the episode with sally has ended, and strangely enough i find myself filled not so much with sadness that eats away at me, but more of a sense of serenity. and the sense of freedom, to do what i want, how i want, where i want, when i want, without feeling some guilt if she found out.

basically i don't fuckin care. cos love really aint enough. feelings aint enough. lovin somebody who loves you back but invariably brings you down very often just misses the point of the whole idea. love somebody that uplifts you, encourages you, and never lets you down, that's the ticket there.

at times i lie in my bed, with aphrodite herself entertwined in my arms calmin my shakin shoulders. she gave me all i needed then, openly and freely. the gentle touch, soothing words, warmth of her body against mine and conviction that i was not alone. that's not all she does, for she nourishes my belly with great food and my mind with intelligent conversation and insightful comments, deliverin both with the sense of compassion and consideration that i long so much for and value.

"aphrodite in my arms
making me shiver
sparks of light in my gloom
making everything shimmer"

i don't love her. nor does she love me. ironic eh.

i think i'll stay this way.

2005-09-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

my tattoo. one day. hehe.

what does it mean?

2005-08-17T11:32:00.000+08:00

forgive the outpouring of general stuff that may or may not have any meaning whatsoever. i suppose i gotta unload whatever burdens that i carry in my heart so that i can continue on with my life and my work. and if i'm feeling masochistic, i'll just revert to this entry n enjoy the pain again.

once again i find myself loving and longing after an attached girl. "only hope can keep me together, love can mend and can also break me apart." perhaps the reason why i'm with her is that i understand how it is like to be a part of a long distance relationship, where all u hear is the voice, all u see is the jpg file and the rest is completely up to one's imagination, which in situations of love, can be very biased.

so what does one do when she goes off to be with him virtually? sit at the house, tending to housework to keep the floors immaculately polished and the furniture clean to await her return.

"i want something else
to get me thru this
semi-charmed kinda life."

but i suppose, what she does on her side is her business, not mine. i do not have the right nor intend to impose. yet it hurts when she is beside me and yet she is so far away.

"she hurts me in the big ways and the little ways, she's so unaware of.
why do i still linger?
and i die a little everytime i hear the ringtone of her phone
remindin me she's taken"

sigh full circle once more. ah well, at least there were moments of tenderness when there was a connection that warmed the heart so much that i literally soared.

at the background in this instant, i hear the garbage truck clearin away the rubbish. my cue to finish dumpin all this stuff and move on n get some bloody work done.

there, load dump completed. next session is scheduled for well, in the next coupla days.

*shrugs*

inspiration in the midst of complete absolute boredom, what one can do when one has got nothing better at all to do. ;)

2005-08-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

credits:

extras: mike, suf, andrew, suresh

props: from rjdc camp '05

camera: dunno who

cameraman: keeps changing

kanasai productions.
all rights and lefts reserved. for two.

2005-08-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

re-enact jedi-scenes from star wars.. add in some matrix shades, low budget props and costumes, and tadaa!!!

2005-08-08T23:16:00.001+08:00

note lukyneo's lopped off right urmm arm.. budget special effects hehehe...

2005-08-08T23:16:00.000+08:00

relivin ippt tortures, and the hernia treatments that came afterward..

2005-08-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

brand new game: pick-up (broom)sticks!

2005-08-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

the effective way to tell a smokin friend that u'd really rather not inhale his fumes..

2005-08-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

drive safely ad campaign draft 1

2005-08-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

drive safely ad campaign draft two

2005-08-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

what we find ourselves doin when that arse just keeps yappin during the movie

2005-08-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

what we really dream of doing to that arse who talks in the cinema...

2005-08-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

catch dinner.. needs alot of washing before he's remotely tantalising though..

2005-08-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

new type of yoga! well actually it's...

2005-08-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

this is human tick tack toe!

RAC Raffles City Board of Directors 05/06

2005-08-08T05:45:00.000+08:00

Rotaract Club of Raffles City

joint installation 2005, over and done!

2005-08-07T15:50:00.000+08:00

the joint installation, the event that several others and i had thrown all our effort and time into, is finally over!

it became a bigger than expected event, since we had unexpected guests who held high positions in the ranks of rotary international. such as assistant governors for the district (comprising of singapore and malaysia), rotary club presidents.

in this sort of situation, the emphasis on following correct protocol becomes almost stifling. can't afford to cock up in front of such powerful figures.

so yea needless to say everyone on the committee was tense and wired that night. lack of sleep, lack of rehearsals, the barrage of last-min changes.

yet comedic moments were not in short. like the videos jerry made, spoofing kung fu hustle, sex in the city, and superstar. or kaifen's huge "ah?!" when ivan mistakenly gave her family name to anthony during his outgoing speech. and my huge opening blunder where upon receiving the agreed signal, i announced the arrival of our guest of honour, only for the goh at that moment to decide to take several moments to take a few pictures at the reception outside.

but naturally we laughed all our blunders off and proceeded with the night's program.

afterwards we brought out all the remaining soft-shell crabs, mango pudding, chocolate cake, and soft drinks to the reception table, where in true rac raffles city style, we had a makan session.

after we stuffed ourselves silly, we adjourned to the hotel room where we bitched and joked and drank and laughed and played cards.

iwan's joke about the japanese, british and chinese workers is to me, sheer lame genius. better than my "what do you call an eskimo who lives in a house without a toilet? dude lives in an ig." lame-ass joke. ask me when u see me if u wanna hear his joke, it's really lamely good.

kudos to everyone i've had the pleasure to work with on this project. i admit, i had some reservations of workin with certain ppl, but i'm glad i was wrong. and i'm also stunned by ppl like peiyan, who is now bloody workin today, sunday, to clear her work that she put aside earlier to concentrate on the installation. and yea all the stress got her sick too. talk about sacrifice.

it takes a night like this, when everyone works and cooperates together to come out with something successful and special, that gives me hope in the future of rotaract. i'm glad i'm still in rac, 5 years and running!

on another note though, the only thing during the whole night that saddened me was that everybody supported me, but i got no support from her. well, none that came by sms anyway. i expected this treatment of course. ah well.

anyway to my rotaract friends, i've decided not to replace underwear with soft shell crab. so yea i'll still be yellin, "eat my underwear!" for sometime to come. somehow soft shell crab lacks punch lah :D

cheers all, i'm off for a cycle to the beach!

of coke and a playground, logic and heart, a bad scene, but hopefully a new start.

2005-08-06T11:47:00.000+08:00

last night at about 12am i went down to the nearby 7-11, where i bought a big bottle of vanilla coke. then i walked to the nearby playground so i could break down in relative privacy and darkness.

met a wonderful girl the other day, beautiful yet fragile, and yea i managed to hurt her bad. shows that heart doesnt actually follow logic. so yea i've been enduring jabs n jibes for the day. deserved of course. the only comfort i have is that i did one right thing in the whole sorry mess. i didn't keep it from her, i told her the truth, plain and unvarnished shockin truth, even though that could have destroyed any chance i had with her.

if u can't be honest to the one you love. who can u be honest to?

and yea i saw all the hurt, shock, anger n disgust in her eyes when i told her. and she later cried on a mutual friend's shoulder. aih..

big hearted as she is though, she decided to give me one more chance. so yea, i'm gonna make the most of it. gonna show it, tell it, sing it, write it, prove it.

she's worth it.

i just hope against alot of hope that in the end of around a year, i don't get voted off. cos there is competition.

sounds familiar eh.

word of advice to anybody lookin for a place to break down: do NOT bring coke with you. as anybody who has bawled like a baby before will tell u, ur nose gets bloody stuffed uup. therefore when one gulps down vanilla coke (or any other carbonated drink), the gas comes out of ur mouth as burps. the bad thing is that since one's nose is blocked, one needs to breathe thru one's mouth as well. conflict of venues there, i was chokin n spewin coke all over the place.

and bring tissues!

day 2 in nie

2005-07-26T10:42:00.000+08:00

so far the days seem to go on quickly enough, perhaps cos there's nothin really much going on in the various briefings and i'm more engrossed in gettin my hostel livin issues done. gettin a laptop, buyin groceries, managin laundry and cookin some really simple foods. also enjoyin the company of the friends i met in the ttc freshmen orientation, talkin cock and singin songs. and yeah speakin of singin, yours truly has just passed the audition to swap my english language course for a music teachin course. hehe, apparently singing the song i wrote after the breakup wowed the interviewers. although it may be just cos i ran back to my hostel room to get sapphira. ms lim says that's enthusiasm, and the other interviewer said that was what's important.

so yeah i'll be teachin music. to kids. hehe, absolutely lovely :)

argh oow, achy achy, stress is loadin, going crazy.

2005-07-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

lookin at all the jobs/tasks i'm jugglin, no wonder my body's breakin down. here's a break-down (pun intended) of what i'm doing:

1. smu's guitarissimo: i'm part of the ensemble as well as gonna be part of the niibori group, for a concert in september. so yeah apart from learnin new pieces from scratch, i'll also be busy learnin them in a new language, the language of classical music notation. all those lil dots hidden among black lines. why did they make classical notation resemble optical illusions?? an a looks different from a b. a dot doesn't look different from a dot higher up! what the chickens...

2. racrc: our installation (done jointly with racmc) is in early aug, at a hotel ballroom no less. i'm part of the organisin committee, doing more or less the graphic design parts as well as others, like doing the emceeing for that night. weekly meetings and all that. doin my best to ensure that the experience that night is gonna be worth the $25 a head price tag. lovely :)

3. nie: just went for the interestin orientation, meetin interestin ppl like a daniel-san wannabe, and a petite girl with long long eyelashes (god actually makes girls my size! yahoo!), on thursday, before headin back down again earlier yday to settle the acceptance fee for the hostel, collect room keys, inspect room. nice big airy hostel room, managed to get a 2nd hand fridge for $120. will be movin in on either sat or sun, cos class starts monday. yey! more shiftin of heavy or bulky stuff!

nah actually, it's not alot.. just ok.. forced workouts are the ones that really get one's muscles workin and growin.

or decomposing.

:D

pinegrove happenings

2005-07-18T03:42:00.000+08:00

man.. i can't believe i had fever again.. sheesh.. i can recognise the signs now, when my whole body is buzzin and everything from my thighs to my fingernails ache like macademia nuts.

was at my friend sam's place on saturday nite. he was part of the yep that went to cambodia about two years ago. bloody humourous guy. he gave everybody at his party a sock each, on which was scrawled "mr. socko". he pulled his over one hand and started talkin to it. needless to say, mr. socko talked back.

after the cake-cuttin, it was time for the reminiscin and the drinkin. other cambodia-mates like gopi, weiling (goddamn she's hot), noretta and hamdan gathered around bottles of soft drinks, jack daniel's, plastic cups, packets of twisties and lighted tea candle-lights. gopi told stories about dirty places in cambodia, we discussed sif's decision to cut fundin to yeps, and bout cambodia mates who were either hen-pecked, bitches or poseurs. and as the jd flowed, so did the subjects, and soon sam and gopi were arguin about mlms, gopi was advisin him about how he was gettin mind-fucked by an old flame and how to identify psychotic bitches, noretta bitchin about her boss and supervisor at work, and so on.

interestin to listen hehe. one can really learn alot by just sittin there, keepin opinions to himself, and listenin.

at about 430am, only sam, myself and a guy called vic were left. sam celebrated his first time of truly gettin high by pukin near a bench where i dozed (splatterin me shoes). payback i guess, cos i got him to bottoms-up the last bits of whiskey from the bottle in the first place.

anyways as dawn came, he staggered off back home and vic n i headed back. and as usual i missed my stop on the mrt, wakin up at pasir ris. good thing the train retraces its path back westward.

and how the heck did i manage to sprain my middle finger??? bloodychickens..

vut to do.. vut to do..

2005-07-12T02:49:00.000+08:00

my ex's father passed away monday evening.

a mutual friend smsed me that, during the guitarissimo practice. so i gave him a call and asked the details. apparently the elderly father didn't really recover from a bypass surgery a coupla weeks back.

was inclined to mutter "ce la vie" and continue with my own business. but i couldn't. msged her my condolences.

heys at least i didn't run & book a plane ticket to labuan. i'll leave that up to her new guy.

then i remembered she'd soon receive my package. sigh bad timing. her father passes away and soon she will get a parcel of returned gifts from an ex. feelin shitty now for doin that.

i gotta keep remindin myself that i don't have to be there for her. i don't have to call her later to see how she's doing and offer my aid.

but am i special to her? if i am, i should do more than that. how do i know?

ah suf.. u think too much..

closure

2005-07-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

day: wednesday evening
place: tampines central post office

"would you like to tape yourbox and mark 'FRAGILE'?", asked the kind malay lady at the post office.

i looked at the box, in which i had stuffed my ex's stuff (some belongings as well as her gifts, her valentine's day card, a ukelele and our couple photos).

"nah."

she still lent me some maskin tape, and i did some token taping. and she wrote fragile for me. maybe she could sense that i didnt give a damn as to the condition of the box when it would arrive at my ex's place in labuan.

then again, i was concentratin on curbing my weakness. i'll never try cyclin when havin a fever again. balance and strength goes out the window. it's bloody scary.

my birthday is tomorrow. i'm gonna start my new year afresh. all the heartaches of the past years go out the window.

or in a 3kg capacity cardboard box.

closure :)

mornin moments of the chalet insomniacs

2005-07-06T13:02:00.000+08:00

perched on a breakwater. the insomniacs :) shuyan's (nike shoe) takin the pic..

2005-07-06T13:01:00.000+08:00

dun ask.. cos i dun really know what the heck we were doing...

2005-07-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

assorted feet and footwear.. raffles city's top (foot) model..

2005-07-06T12:58:00.000+08:00

dawn breakin.. smooth velvet seas.. and the bright glow of the sun rising.. and oyah, wierd haircut...

an example of a filipino smile ;)

2005-07-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

In one of my previous posts about philippines, i wrote about a little baby girl who somehow liked being carried by smelly, sweaty, bony me so much that she can just doze off like a lil koala. this is her, my lil niece geline :D

of relief, awkwardness, calm, surprise, hope, exhiliration, serenity and other assorted feelings

2005-07-04T17:09:00.000+08:00

ok updates..

thankfully enough, the signing of the teacher training agreement on saturday went well. partly because my father's flight back to singapore was delayed, hence he was unable to come. my uncle filled in for him instead. brenda, my filipino cousin, comments that my uncle looks exactly like my dad, except he smiles. so yeah it was pretty wierd to have him along for the ceremony anyway. actually it was more to the awkwardness. especially since i know that he likes my mum and my mum likes him back too, except that they're siblings-in-law so they try to hide it.

during the weekend my rotaract club had its club retreat at costa sands, pasir ris. amazingly enough, the others had remembered my birthday and celebrated it, along with the birthdays of kaifen and peiyan. well maybe not amazingly, cos ever since i joined rotaract, my club-mates have been the only ones (apart from family) that remember my birthdays.

so yeah it gave me a wee bit of hope for rotaract. and i put aside all the lil bits of distrust i had for certain club-mates and just opened up again. and it felt good. got to know our newest member peiyan better. she's gonna handle club service for the upcomin year, and she's got plans like kelong trips, canoeing sessions and more. she's pretty capable, we're very lucky to have her.

was nice seein my close friend kim again. she got her boyfriend to lend me his phantom 200 to me for a spin, and i promptly decided to go on the road and visit the interchange. managed to reach about 80km/h on the straight road near downtown east. and on a bike in the cold chill of the night, it really feels like flying.

as it was chalet, some of us foregoed (or shouldn't it be fore-went?) sleep and stayed up the night to chat about inconsequential stuff and other matters. we also had some discussions about our club's upcomin installation dinner on the 6th of august at plaza parkroyal hotel.

and at about six plus, we went to the beach to catch the sun-rise. sat on the waterbreaker and watched the sea which resembled a rippling layer of silk, smooth and calm. and the fisher-camper folk, flingin their lures out into the sea and reeling them back in again.

for the first time, i didn't unconsciously wish that somebody i loved and lost was sittin beside me to share the serene landscape with. i'm healing. heh about time...

peiyan whipped out her camera and we proceeded to take photos, photos of feet adorned in assorted footwear and in various positions, of a caught sting-ray that seemed to growl soundlessly, "ka ni na chao chee-kenathan bye" and of course the sunrise. will try to get pics of em from peiyan and post it up here.

hrmm that's it for now.. gotta make a move for guitar practice later today. cheers everybody. peace out...

trepidations

2005-06-30T21:08:00.000+08:00

hrmm haven't updated me blog for a coupla days already.. has nothing really happened?

i'm dreading one thing: this saturday i'll be going to moe to sign the teacher training agreement. and i have to bring two sureties who will share my liabilities should i cock up the course. the first surety will be my mum of course, but the other has to be a singaporean.

my mum believes this should be my dad. after almost 7 years of shuttin him out of my life, he may just well walk back in again. and i am dreading that he will cause a scene in moe. just as he did many many times at many many places. the last time i went with my parents to a teacher-parents meeting, he flirted openly with my physics tutor. to my mum's anger, and to my great embarrassment.

imagine having to be in close proximity to a man who makes your skin crawl. of course if he tries something this time around, i can defend myself. but i musn't. i need a surety, and my mum chose him. can u imagine needing a favour from the person who left you with a crooked chin, and a lifetime of bad memories of growin up in fear, humiliation and hatred? i need him to get into teaching, even though i swore i'd never depend on him ever again.

i need to control myself this saturday. and i need the strength for that.

ay naku..

of goodbyes and sighs

2005-06-25T02:13:00.000+08:00

my ex popped up in msn just a while ago. apart from reportin that she's done well in her preparatory course, she also told me that she has found someone.

feelin dispensible rite now. i told her that i needed to get her outta my system. and to do that, i need to disappear. so we said our goodbyes.

we broke up thru msn. now we said our goodbyes thru msn as well. i bloody hate computers now.

and wierdly this tune came into mind. it's a song i wrote yesterday. about livin thru hard times.

" a blazin sunset
in a shimmerin sky
the earth beneath your feet
the people passin by
the loves you have had
the love you have yet to attain
so grit your teeth and give a grin
and close your eyes and sing"

talk about timing..

the blur, the hungry and the lucky

2005-06-23T01:35:00.000+08:00

got up this mornin, looked at the clock and cursed. jumped into the shower, towelled off quickly, pulled on clothes, grabbed my guitar, stuffed a packet on maggi into the front pocket of the case, n quickly left the house.

hurried down the road towards the mrt, thru tmall. as i walked by the swatch counter on the ground floor, i glanced at my watch and jerked to a halt. remembered then that i start work at 12, not 11. therefore i was still really early. suf the blur.

at the shop, i cooked my breakfast and lunch of that packet of noodles in a mug and savoured the taste. say what u want about msg, but it tastes bloody shiok to a hungry dude. my boss and supervisors, both nice guys, brought some deep-fried prawn fritters and popiah. and i drank a mug of milo, a twisted can of pepsi twist, and a can of good ol' original coke (thanks jane!!). suf the hungry.

when i got home, stomach rumblin slightly, i find my mum and my sis back. she passes me some cash to buy some chicken rice for dinner, as well as some milo and bread. no idea why, but my sis decided to do the dishes too. suf the lucky :)

p.s. studyin my track record of my posts, you'll notice that i rarely tackle issues of depth, like politics, social trends, and other such cheem things. that's cos i prefer to discuss interactively about em. face to face. not face to monitor. so if you're lookin of in-depth analysis of i.r.s, religious convictions (in my case, the lack of em), or even about sarong party girl's boobs and the incompetent media, forget about it. this blog is about my likes:

talk cock, shake leg, sing song.

:P

suf the high meta guy

2005-06-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

came home to an empty house and no food on the table. my bro's idea of preparin food is to open a can of cold baked beans. so yeah, i scrubbed the wok n started cookin fried rice.

this time i added some knorr's chicken granules that i found in my fridge, and also a large dollop of nonya sambal. stirrin the rice, takin in the tantalisin smells, worked up my appetite.

i cooked enough for supper and tomorrow's breakfast. but i polished of the first plate so fast, that soon i helped myself to another plate, and then another. in the end i emptied the wok.

damn my high metabolism! i've only got enough decent food here for another day. if my mum has extended her stay in philippines again, then i'll be survivin on khong guan biscuits. bleak future innit..

gotta cook again..

short mental trip to siem reap

2005-06-20T01:43:00.000+08:00

standing on the platform at city hall mrt, waitin for the train back home, lookin at silkair's latest ad campaign. they plastered walls, benches, pillars n stuff with pictures of various destinations to which they fly: cambodia, cebu, etc.

lookin at the cambodian pic of a huge temple ruin. can't remember what it was called, except that i visited that site two years ago. and it reminded me of some other things.

as i mentioned in the previous entry, i was feelin sorta miffed. not only bout my poly regrets, but also bout love (do you know how many couples there are at esplanade park??), life and my anorexic wallet.

but as i stood there on the platform reminiscin, one particular memory, or rather one particular lesson, straightened my back.

i was at siem reap town, together with my group from ngee ann. as a treat after a week of hard work at the orphanage, we were visitin the town n enjoyin a lunch of chicken rice at this coffeeshop run by a singaporean.

and i met a man. he was one of the unfortunate many who have had accidents with landmines, and lost limbs as a result. in his case, he lost both his hands. now what set him apart from the others was that while the others preferred to beg from "rich" tourists, his dignity would not allow him to do so. instead he pushed around a cart filled with souvenirs with his stumps.

he stopped nearby, and while the others discussed about where to have lunch, i went to check out what he had to sell. and i chose two cambodian scarves, called krama, which can be used for many things, from carryin a baby to patchin a flat bicycle tire.

i reached for the scarves, but he waved me off. instead, using his stumps, he folded the scarves i had chosen, brought out a plastic bag, opened it, and placed the scarves inside before offerin the bag to me on the ends of his wrists.

no fingers and no hands. rather than going the easy route by peddling pity, i.e. begging, this guy stood tall on his two feet. you could see the pride that emanated from him and his wooden cart.

who am i to complain about shit or feel sorry for myself? no matter what shit life hits me with, a life filled with dignity is still possible. and i am so much luckier than i often think i am. a man without hands taught me that :)

of colourful characters

2005-06-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

well today's been eventful. quite a number of colourful characters i met today.

on the train to work, i was sittin, plugged into my mp3s while doing my lil sketch of my future house. an old guy sat down beside me and complimented me on my drawing. we started talkin about hobbies, betterin oneself, livin in singapore and the sort. subjects u can only discuss with a person who has had a lifetime of experience. he and his wife were takin the train to woodlands to jalan-jalan that neighbourhood. considerin they've been to hawaii, las vegas, paris, sightseein around woodlands new town sounds pretty much logical :)

one thing the guy said. to him, the mrt is all about going thru, or adding on. what he meant by that, heh i'll leave that up to you.

work was pretty normal today. business was slowing down, there ain't much of a market for acoustic guitars in singapore. a fella dropped off a martin for servicin, and i restringed a manuel rodriguez spanish guitar in a traditionally spanish way hehe :)

then in walked my old poly friend, lookin for a spare part for his jap strat. dude's changed, more confident, though still sorta devil-may-care when it comes to trends and gossips. which ain't a bad thing.

heard that some of my old poly acquaintances bad-mouthed me during some lab times. c'mon ppl, i fucked up once and i've apologised to you guys already. during my one-and-a-half years there and all the projects i contributed to, u ppl are gonna judge me for one fucked project? and to my ex-radio-project-partner who declares that i'm unreliable, well hehe.. somehow what you think of me affects me like hardened mucus in my nose. irritatin but easily disposed of.

and yes ppl, the portrait does exist. the reason why i don't have it is quite simply because my mum has no notion of privacy. keepin a portrait of a topless person in my study/cupboard/betweenthemattress is suicidal.

and yeh it's just a bloody drawing! sheesh, clean your minds, will yuh? part of me wants to type my side of the story here, but jeez it was so long ago. get over it, forcryinoutloud..

got sorta pissed off, but heh, one can't please everybody. and persons like them ain't worth having around. true friends show u support when no one else will, and yeh i'm glad that despite the number of fake, spine-less, immature and generally truly disgustin poseurs n bitches in mass comm, there were still some gems of ppl that i can confidently consider as friends.

moving on, i took a walk to esplanaide park after work. sat by the river to watch the sun go down and the waterfront lights come up. there were some outdoor performances there, includin one singing actor (no idea who the heck he is) and this particular abstract play that included two guards(?), one guy and two ladies slathered all over in paint (even the inner ears) in the colours of yellow, pink and green respectively, and a chemical reaction involvin bubblin liquid that turns into hard foam. interestin stuff :) the guys in the audience were slack-jawed at the almost-nude, paint-smeared female actors, the kids giggled at the bubbly colourful mess and the ladies probably were deep in thought as to the play's meaning.

i liked the mess myself :D

on how to live without her

2005-06-18T02:10:00.000+08:00

what does one do when he or she is forced to accept events that happen not to his/her preference?

how does one do things that he or she doesn't want to?

rationalisation. every single event can be seen in so many different ways. by selectively perceiving that event in one particular way, the event becomes tolerable, perhaps even beneficial.

i was talkin to a friend about relationships. she wondered why i couldn't keep a relationship going for more than 2 years. it's not that i didn't want to do exactly that, but well i never did the dumping.

there are ways i rationalise when being dumped, so that my esteem, drive and will are not permanently crushed. firstly is the principle that if i love her, i should let her go if she wants to go. and if she comes back to me, then wonderful! if not, well i remind myself that since i do love her, HER happiness is paramount. so if she's happy in the arms of someone else, then so be it. the fact that i'm miserable is not relevant.

and i have loved every single one of my ex-girlfriends. and i still do. after all, if that conviction disappears in time, that means the relationship was not special. and if it wasn't special, what's the point of startin it?

another way of rationalising to ease one's heart is to come up with a plausible future, and convince oneself that she wouldn't have fit in.

take lisa for example. she's a small town girl at first. she grew up in a small island, which happened to be an offshore financial centre. and now she has ambitions of gettin her medical degree, and practisin medicine in various cities all around the world. paris, madrid, moscow, kuala lumpur and so on.

my plans when i was with her was to accompany her all the way, where ever she went. but now that i'm left behind, i came up with my own plans, decidin to follow my own dreams and not compromise for anybody, no matter how much i loved her.

cos i'm not a city guy. i prefer peaceful large natural spaces. lotsa fresh air and greenery. i'm a simple life kinda guy. so my plan altered to become a plan to move to the philippines, not in manila but in my lil underdeveloped rustic hometown far away from the capital's bustle.

she wouldn't be happy livin the rest of her life in such a place, now would she? how can i ask her to give up her dreams for me? therefore the breakup is beneficial to the both of us. she's happy, and i ain't guilty of being selfish.

perhaps these are all excuses. bloody excuses. perhaps i do not have the will to fight for somebody i love. perhaps i am too passive. perhaps i lack balls.

and perhaps i just need somebody i love to show me that she loves me back. that she is not just lovin me, but in love with me.

until that day, i'll just smile and say, "at least she's happy now."

cikgu suf's first essay question

2005-06-15T00:28:00.000+08:00

read the below passage and answer the questions that follow. marks will be deducted for absurd answers.

met on heckuva spoilt brat this afternoon while workin at the shop.

his father and his 9 year old self walked into the shop, the father lookin to buy strings. i was seated learnin licks from a guitar magazine with a maestro guitar on my lap.

this kid proceeds to sit on the couch and takes the magazine n starts flippin pages. he flips them holdin the bottom of each page, resultin in crumpled and 1 torn page.

he is just a kid, nevermind.

then he proceeds to tell me to stop playing guitar, reachin for the pick in my hand. i smile tolerantly and say,"this is a guitar shop, what else does one do but play guitar."

then he demands to play with my handphone, to take pictures with its camera. i tried the trick of deflection and start askin him what photos he wants to take, why does he want to take the photo of that particular subject, what school is he in, and so on.

he reaches for my phone. i gently but firmly put it in my pocket. and try to distract him again with questions.

he asks me to plug in the guitar into the amp. so i comply, decidin it's better to stall him while his dad gets his stuff quick so they can both leave.

then he starts to play with a hair-dryer that we used to shrink-wrap strings. i continue playin, and suddenly he orders me to stop playing guitar. he knocks the hair-dryer on the fretboard of the guitar, and then uses the plug end to knock the guitar when i block him with my hand. i give him a stern look and say," you should not do that to a guitar." and i stood up and put the guitar back on the hangar before more damage can be done to it.

he is a kid. nevermind.

when i turn back he is playing with the guitar cable. cables can be spoilt pretty easy if they are treated like jump rope, so i walk over and grasp it. he walks away, holdin on to one end, and i follow. he goes to a corner, and i walk up to him, gathering the cable in my hands while coaxin him to let go. and when i'm near, he lashes out with his fists.

now at that moment, i'd gladly give him one heckuva trashin. but considerin his father, a customer, was also in the shop and the kid was standin near to spanish guitars costin hundreds of dollars each, i decide to back away and speak to the father.

he is just a kid. nevermind..

his father, surprisingly enough, doesn't seem to have much control over him. accordin to the kid, he doesn't go to school, but stays at home where his father does the teachin.

the father manages to get the cable from him. the kid pulls the sofa to the counter, climbs up on it n grabs a bunch of our namecards. as they were about to leave, i asked the kid,"you're gonna bring home all that?"

his father realising what his kid is doing, scolds him and tells him to put it back. the kid refuses, so the father threatens to call the iceman on him. (the iceman happens to be mr freeze from that crap batman & robin movie that was shown on tv the previous night). he even tells him that the iceman is a friend of mine, and asks me to go and call him.

he reluctantly gives back the cards, and as he was sulkin, his father chuckles. and the kid suddenly stepped to the counter and hits the glass pane with his hand. it doesn't crack, luckily. his father scolds him again, yet the father seems more embarrassed at how he can't control his son rather than angry at him.

anthony's (my supervisor) really pissed now, not sayin a word. the father drags the kid out, scolds him some more, threatens to leave him in the shop until sat. persuades the kid to come back and shake hands with me n ant. i do with a fixed smile on my face, ant without expression.

and the kid n his dad left.

question one: what are the instances in the above anecdote that point to something disturbin, whether it be in the behaviour of the kid or that of his father? (10 marks)

question two: what advice would you give to the writer on how he can better handle the situation the next time around (possibly saturday)?
do take into note the setting of the above anecdote. expensive guitars, confined space, writer's reluctance to use force on any kid, etc. (10 marks)

question three: translate the above passage into yoda-language. i.e. "terbalik" (1,000 marks)

(the marks don't matter in this paper. that's right, the marks are just like a guy's nipples)

the curse of a musician

2005-06-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

i've been hit by a bug recently. actually nah it was quite some time ago, but now i feel that i can do something about it.

last year when i attended smu guitarissimo's annual chalet, i heard my friends playin what sounded alot like one of my old songs. horror of horrors, they told me that it was the newest jay chou song. i went whatdafuck? it really hurts to hear ppl playin your song n realisin some dumb fuck who possibly heard your band play it a coupla years back came up with this song for jay. n ur friends are going, this is a damn cool song to play man. what the bloodymongolianfriedhorsedroppinsintartarsaucechickenathans man.

so how am i gonna prevent that from happenin again? record and copyright my own songs! and to do that, i'll need to set up a lil home recording studio. things i think i will need (but really may not at all, i'm still sorta clueless at this) include:

1) laptop (to run recordin software. i'll be gettin one in august anyway for schoolwork)

2) vocal mike (gonna dig my roadie n ex-bassist friend jinfu for advice)

3) recording software (mackie's spike actually interested me, it's a combination of a actual mixer and software. but the bloody thing is $800+. will go for something alot cheaper or hopefully free)

4) direct input boxes for guitar signals. either that or a small mixer.

5) pickup for my classical guitar(wonderin whether to recycle my old transducer pickup or invest in a new b-band. $200 bucks. ouch)

6) acoustic guitar with pickup (maestro's ed-1 cutaway with b-band comes to mind. $600 bucks. or that lil sz baby taylor copy with shadow pickup: $225.)

7) electric guitar (a butterscotch ibanez gsa-60 $395 from luther's looks versatile enough without burstin wallets)

8) guitar multi-fx pedal (not certain, probably a cheap n reliable zoom)

that's all i need to cover most sounds. the bass guitar can be emulated using the multi-fx pedal, and drum patches can be found in any recording software.

so what's the damage? excluding the laptop, it's about $1,000 at the minimum. sigh it's hard being a musician.. hehe ;)

then there's the hyosung aquila 125cc motorcycle, as well as the 4 guitars i wanna get for my cousins for christmas, the christmas trip itself, etc etc etc.

but for now, i got 20 bucks in my wallet, so that means i'll dream some more..

p.s. shelly: congrats on ur wedding! will invite u to mine in ten years time. will probably be held on a beach in the philippines ;)

bad day bad day

2005-06-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

called my cousin late last evenin, as i was walkin thru smu's basketball & volleyball courts with the guitar club ppl. my sis was stayin with her at nasugbu while mum went to manila for a week.

apparently my lil sis had been mouthin off again, tellin everybody there that i got a girlfriend here. so my cousin felt that i had been bluffin her when i said that i am single now. in the background i heard my sis yellin,"got picture on his table! got picture!"

hey zaza, the picture u mentioned is not on the table per say, but rather deep in the drawer, and the picture faces downwards. get the picture? (pun totally intended)

felt bloody sad that my cousin didn't believe me. cos i was relyin on our relationship to stay strong and be something i can hold on to when times are rough for both of us.

and somehow it's just bloody ironic when i am single and somebody doesn't believe me. i mean i didn't ask to be rejected and dumped. i didn't ask to be heartbroken. i didn't ask to be the fella who wonders "what about those special times?" i didn't ask to be shoved into this frickin hole which i have to drag myself out of by my fingernails. and i didn't ask to be that guy who will always feel a painful twinge of regret whenever i hear her name, or see it. and believe me, her name is so bloody common!

n all these feelings of mine at that moment got punctuated by a volleyball landing on my head.

goddamnbloodymongolianchickenathanpariahdogs. bad day bad day..

two men, a cat and an occasional girlfriend

2005-06-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

no, that girlfriend is my brother's, not mine.

things i learnt by livin the past week with just my bro.

1) never try to cook your food if you don't know how to cook. you'll just end up havin a tummyache plus hunger. lousy combination, trust me.

2) do not buy post cereals. while they taste great, they're horribly expensive and come in dismal amounts. stick to the tried and tested honey stars.

3) insomnia comes naturally when one is bored the whole day and night. while i surf the net, my bro gets re-acquainted with our vcd collection. yesterday was jimmy neutron boy genius - the movie ("ultralord!!"). the day before that was the sound of music. showtimes: 3am.

4) is it only me, but does anybody also think that madagascar sucks? for a kids movie, oookay it's decent. but c'mon, show some tongue-in-cheek,only-adults-get spoof jokes for cryin out loud.

5) related to point (4) fares get hiked, fuel prices go higher, even bloody cinema prices go higher. $9.50 for a crap movie in a theatre with noisy kids? i actually gotta pay for that?? this is when i do believe that we the common people deserve the term "the stupid masses."

on more optimistic notes,

6) laundry aint that hard! pop the clothes in, dump a indecent amount of detergent powder, n press the button n watch artificial intelligence in action! wish my washing machine came with a voice prompt that went: "SEPARATE THE COLOURS FROM THE WHITES IDYAT!"

i now have pastel pink articles of clothin in my wardrobe.

orh yeah, about the cat, (7) cats make lousy catburglers. why? they leave lotsa evidence behind, evidence of long white hair on my bed, freshly laundered clothes, etc etc.

i hate laundry.

announcin my 7th engagement

2005-06-01T21:36:00.000+08:00

in the shop now. sold 2 guitars on my first day. a cheapo $78 roundback and a $399 solid-top acoustic. man i'm findin it tough to remember the prices of everything here. hehe will take some time to get used to it.

i also just put in a downpayment for a beautiful new classical guitar. here are her specs:

MAESTRO C-3 (Concert Series)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
top: solid sitka spruce grade A+

back and sides: east indian rosewood

fingerboard: east indian rosewood

neck: bolt on nato with truss rod

saddle: 2 5/64 cow bone

body style/bracing: classical 650mm/japanese fan

tuning machines: hauser deluxe gold plated

price: $499 (exc staff discount :D)

sounds lovely doesn't she? and to protect her on my travels, i got her a lightweight foam bag that is strong enough to withstand shocks, yet light enough to lug around airports, bus terminals, different countries, etc...

absolutely lovely.. i think i'll play her for a bit again before i leave the shop ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

of halloween syndromes and bachelor fare

2005-05-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

pulled a joke on my younger sis today. while she was busy at the computer updating her friendster, i put on a black long jacket, black helmet and my black motorcycle gloves. then i grabbed my 7 iron and, wieldin it like a gun, i jumped behind her and yelled,"freeze! you are to cease & desist! step away from the computer with ur hands up where i can see 'em! move dammit!"

dunno how she was able to grab her phone and snap a picture of me while she was still laughin her head off..

anyways she n mum will be headed to philippines (their turn!)in early june for about 3 weeks. that leaves myself and my elder bro to run the house during that period.. and only one thing comes to mind..

no not parties, not orgies, not anything of that sort. i'm thinkin.. maggi mee breakfasts, tuna n rice lunches, and sardine and rice dinners.. for 3 weeks! sheesh i shouldave recorded all those jamie oliver episodes..

so ppl! need ur help! if u know any simple recipes that two guys can handle, pls tell us! recipes that use minimal varieties of spices, timings, specialised utensils, and so forth. i'm a guy who once cooked carrots without skinnin them, and burnt a kettle of water. so yeah, go easy..

good trainin for upcomin hostel life though ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

of cikguism, math, and my ability to mangle the english language

2005-05-26T03:08:00.000+08:00

finally my wait came to an end. after a session at the golf driving range, i came home to a bubbling brother and an un-naggy mother. oh and also an opened letter from the ministry of education.

seems i've been selected to undergo trainin to teach english language and mathematics at primary/elementary school level. will be attendin a briefin next week.

finally... rather than being overjoyed, i'm feelin rather relieved instead. a new road has opened up, and it doesn't seem as precarious as the others..

so call me cikgu suf! if u really got nothin better to do, that is ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2005-05-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

cousins.. ohana.. top row: jing-jing, nhica, sheryl. bottom row: mai-mai, bing-bing, rose, relyn, marianne

pros slash cons chapter one

2005-05-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

i do intend to move to philippines to start my family there. most of my singaporean friends cannot comprehend why. after all, singapore is safe, convenient, with high standards of living and education and amenities. wouldn't that make singapore the best place for one to start a family?

one problem i have with all that though. when was the last time you had a friendly encounter in singapore? here you find persons so engrossed with their pursuit for success, gracious nature and common courtesy takes a step back. even being friendly to others is an act only for the brave or the heck-care.

compare that to all the accounts of backpackers (not tourists) who travel to southeast asian countries like thailand, philippines, cambodia and so on. they all talk about meeting really friendly and hospitable locals. no matter that poverty is more pronounced there.

the same thing goes with philippines. corruption is rife, security guards at the banks work with shotguns slung over their shoulders, the cinema burned down ages ago and the level of technology is roughly ten years behind.

but i know my neighbours there. and hospitality is practically a religion there. birthdays, fiestas and holidays are events where relatives and friends descent in great numbers to dance, sing, eat and make merry. kids here have playmates in abundance. plus they learn to make toys and invent games out of whatever they have on hand, whether it be a stick, a coupla stones, or their feet.

and the people have this belief in karma, my cousin relyn opines. if u fuck around, expect to be fucked right back. thus it becomes their nature and belief to be friendly and kind-hearted.

before this sounds too naive, of course not everybody in philippines is friendly and open. there are some bad points when it comes to the filipino psyche. the guys are still waay too traditional for their own good. they love to see scantily clad women in tv, movies and on calendars, but they always complain if their girlfriends choose to wear sleeveless tops or skirts.

another thing, they share a sense of fatalism at the plague of corruption that is controlling their country. and there's nothing really they can do about it. the students managed to impeach ex-president estrada, who they claimed was corrupt. but can there really be a incorruptible president, or even a politician. during my trip there, journalists were being killed one by one, for exposing corrupt officials who abuse their power. so when shit happens. like the taxes go up, they grit their teeth and bear it, leaving the protests to the students in the big cities.

no place is perfect i guess. but home is where the heart is, and it sure ain't in singapore.